After the Door of No Return, a map was only a set of impossibilities, a set of changing locations…a forgotten list of irretrievable selves
Dionne Brand
i am a well-seasoned auntie / that’s what she said / refuting my claim to be dry / and I liked her for that
and it’s new year’s eve / and this auntie has seasoned messages to send (she thinks) /
to those she knows and loves / to those who / if she knew them / she might love too
ten–nine–eight / she needs to share something / auntie words / with flavours of hope
inspiration / uplift / shift / change
Every year about this time / this is top of the agenda / the main menu
every year about this time / words fail her
Seven–six–five / hurry hurry / gobble the day
because it is the last day / because tomorrow is thinner, fitter, faster, more focused,
it has a bull’s eye / a rifle sight / a starting gun / a countdown
seven–six–five
get ready for a new day / for a whole new year / a whole new you
but it’s a no / from the irretrievable selves / who are not new
who bristle (the whole list of them) / poke holes in all auntie’s best wishes / good intentions
why the mad dash into tomorrow? / why the insistence on a self freshly made?
why so keen to leave today’s self so thoroughly behind / exiled / abandoned?
who exactly are you running from? / what exactly did we do / to deserve this?
Four, three / wait.
don’t count out / the irretrievable selves / who refuse to be relegated
to the past / to last year / to last place
decline to be suffocated / by new me’s / new ideas
new year resolutions
I / she / you / we / well seasoned aunties
not up for / not down with
fresh herbs / new regimes / new spiritual practices
no need for / new bodies / new minds
no targets to set / no projects to find
hold the new shoots / keep the new boots / we are old roots
we are not about dashing ourselves / out / like overnight food / not yet consumed
we are well seasoned aunties / a set of changing locations / impossibilities
tell us / tomorrow will come / three-two-one
tell us / next year
we will taste / just as good / as now / possibly / even better
Yum!
I ain’t gonna improve overnight either.
Certainly ain’t gonna arrive on the 1st fitter and faster. Nor thinner. I might do some exercise in 2019 so that I make it to 2020 cos I want to be here despite the great shenanigans.
I’m drunk already on a small glass of fizz – I am a liquor light weight and glad of it.
I do know that I will arrive on the 1st without a hangover – cos I don’t want one.
I too will make no promises, nor will I set a self improvement project in motion.
I do however intend to continue: more moments with friends, more moments with the music , with words, with images, with art making and partaking, with wisdom that arises in this location and wisdom gathered. In your words, I will continue the seasoning and be a seasoned uncle.
Greetings from some of those other pins on your map my friend of amazing words and images. Gambia, Lagos. Those book club nights were made rich by your powerful insight. A belated happy new year, but like you said. We don’t have to rush. Sending warm wishes wherever you are.