After the Door of No Return, a map was only a set of impossibilities, a set of changing locations…a forgotten list of irretrievable selves
Dionne Brand
i am a well-seasoned auntie / that’s what she said / refuting my claim to be dry / and I liked her for that
and it’s new year’s eve / and this auntie has seasoned messages to send (she thinks) /
to those she knows and loves / to those who / if she knew them / she might love too
ten–nine–eight / she needs to share something / auntie words / with flavours of hope
inspiration / uplift / shift / change
Every year about this time / this is top of the agenda / the main menu
every year about this time / words fail her
Seven–six–five / hurry hurry / gobble the day
because it is the last day / because tomorrow is thinner, fitter, faster, more focused,
it has a bull’s eye / a rifle sight / a starting gun / a countdown
seven–six–five
get ready for a new day / for a whole new year / a whole new you
but it’s a no / from the irretrievable selves / who are not new
who bristle (the whole list of them) / poke holes in all auntie’s best wishes / good intentions
why the mad dash into tomorrow? / why the insistence on a self freshly made?
why so keen to leave today’s self so thoroughly behind / exiled / abandoned?
who exactly are you running from? / what exactly did we do / to deserve this?
Four, three / wait.
don’t count out / the irretrievable selves / who refuse to be relegated
to the past / to last year / to last place
decline to be suffocated / by new me’s / new ideas
new year resolutions
I / she / you / we / well seasoned aunties
not up for / not down with
fresh herbs / new regimes / new spiritual practices
no need for / new bodies / new minds
no targets to set / no projects to find
hold the new shoots / keep the new boots / we are old roots
we are not about dashing ourselves / out / like overnight food / not yet consumed
we are well seasoned aunties / a set of changing locations / impossibilities
tell us / tomorrow will come / three-two-one
tell us / next year
we will taste / just as good / as now / possibly / even better
Yum!
I ain’t gonna improve overnight either.
Certainly ain’t gonna arrive on the 1st fitter and faster. Nor thinner. I might do some exercise in 2019 so that I make it to 2020 cos I want to be here despite the great shenanigans.
I’m drunk already on a small glass of fizz – I am a liquor light weight and glad of it.
I do know that I will arrive on the 1st without a hangover – cos I don’t want one.
I too will make no promises, nor will I set a self improvement project in motion.
I do however intend to continue: more moments with friends, more moments with the music , with words, with images, with art making and partaking, with wisdom that arises in this location and wisdom gathered. In your words, I will continue the seasoning and be a seasoned uncle.