I wish I didn’t did so much

That I couldn’t undo

At the end of a year

And start again

I’m sorry for the trees I felled

And wrote on

And sat on

And ate off of and out of

And threw away

Forgive me my mindless consumption

The air I sucked, the plants, the fish and fowl

The water I supped and delivered back

To rivers and oceans

with added excitement

I was amorous

And sometimes delicious

And (I hope) not too poisonous

I was paid for works

That I intended for good

And I gave

But not always when I should

And aiming for balance

I toppled still

Fell apart

And had to be reassembled by the love of friends

I talked too much and couldn’t find what to say

Blamed it on my tongue

And the shadows in my head

I cobbled words on paper together instead

to make some kind of mark I strived

Beyond me is the why

I got lost

Wanting to be sought

Floundered

Praying to be caught

Dodged nets and traps and goose chases

And vanity races

I tried to be expedient

And obedient

To Listen to instruction

Pay attention

So that I wouldn’t be quick to shout at those I love

Or skin them when they shouted at me

I watched the birds

wanting to know their names

whilst envying their wings

Their songs

Their fat bottoms

Coveted curvy elegance

Not mine to design

Yearned for success

Not mine to define

I wish I didn’t did so much

That I couldn’t undo

Sorry

My feeble resolution